Jesus H. Christ, for the love of all that is not retarded in this world, can we please, PRETTY PLEASE shut the fuck up about the latest royal wedding? I swear to Bob Barker's spotless colon that if I hear one more fucking word about leg-o-mutton sleeves or how Queen Elizabeth thinks Kate Middleton is the best thing since Tivo I am gonna go postal all over Buckingham Palace, starting with the Queen Mum -- who I will dig up, shoot in the skull, punch in her fucking bony cervix and then leave out for circling paparazzi to pepper with relentless questions about her drastic weight loss while she remains very quiet about it.
Who the hell really even cares about this bullshit, except for women and over the top fags who see this not as a celebration of love but as a reason to get fucked up and have unprotected sex in loos from Scotland Yard to Stonehenge and back again? Having never been to London OR Stonehenge, I don't know how many loos that is, but I bet it's a whole fucking bunch -- at least five. Brits are notorious for not going to the toilet a lot, part of the reason so many of them are full of shit. It's true. Look it up.
And the media has jumped right in. They are the ones yelling about how wonderful this is and how it unites the country in a harmonious love fest that will run the course of a fairy tale. Now, if by that they mean Kate Middleton will drink a potion that will ultimately kill her, I am all for it. Take two, my dear! But if they really think this is gonna be a love that defines a century, I have a London Bridge to sell them. I give this sham of a marriage 10 years tops before William decides his princely seed needs to be deposited in another fair maiden and calls Hugh Grant for a couple phone numbers of some quality leg. Fuck it. Make it five years. He's young and horny. Kate will be lucky if Wild Bill ain't leg humping the mote operator the night of the wedding.
Jesus, I can't wait for this bullshit to be over.
But you know the Japanese are loving this shit up. Fuck four melting nuclear reactors and a tsunami. With this royal wedding going on and the way the US press has bent over to take it in the anus for them, we don't hear a fucking peep about them.
Natural disasters are no match for royalty -- at least not in the United States.
Who the hell really even cares about this bullshit, except for women and over the top fags who see this not as a celebration of love but as a reason to get fucked up and have unprotected sex in loos from Scotland Yard to Stonehenge and back again? Having never been to London OR Stonehenge, I don't know how many loos that is, but I bet it's a whole fucking bunch -- at least five. Brits are notorious for not going to the toilet a lot, part of the reason so many of them are full of shit. It's true. Look it up.
And the media has jumped right in. They are the ones yelling about how wonderful this is and how it unites the country in a harmonious love fest that will run the course of a fairy tale. Now, if by that they mean Kate Middleton will drink a potion that will ultimately kill her, I am all for it. Take two, my dear! But if they really think this is gonna be a love that defines a century, I have a London Bridge to sell them. I give this sham of a marriage 10 years tops before William decides his princely seed needs to be deposited in another fair maiden and calls Hugh Grant for a couple phone numbers of some quality leg. Fuck it. Make it five years. He's young and horny. Kate will be lucky if Wild Bill ain't leg humping the mote operator the night of the wedding.
Jesus, I can't wait for this bullshit to be over.
But you know the Japanese are loving this shit up. Fuck four melting nuclear reactors and a tsunami. With this royal wedding going on and the way the US press has bent over to take it in the anus for them, we don't hear a fucking peep about them.
Natural disasters are no match for royalty -- at least not in the United States.
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